The Karen trope is funny, perhaps because it is relatable. It’s a familiar image: a middle-aged woman with zero tact who thinks that “asking for the manager” is the solution to any customer service dilemma. But it also belies societal attitudes towards aging women.
Unlike men, who we value based on a variety of metrics (e.g., intelligence, wealth, skills, experience, etc.), women are largely valued based on their physical appearances. As women age, we see them as less physically attractive. And, thus, their value wanes, as well.
Aging women not only lack the esteem afforded to their male counterparts; they are also not coddled like younger women. We recognize how vulnerable girls are and, so, make efforts to empower and protect them. Initiatives are dedicated to encouraging girls to get involved in STEM, sports, and other male-dominated fields. The collective consciousness is concerned with safeguarding girls from sexualization, objectification, and predation in general. And there is no problem with this. Except that once young women age out of girlhood, they are on their own.
Is it any wonder that aging women find difficulty in getting attention or respect? After repeated instances of dismissal, an aggressive disposition becomes the default. So, the behavior that we associate with the Karen is merely a product of the treatment that aging women face.
For the most part, middle-age women exist in the periphery. But they catch our attention when engaged in a public conflict. It may be a misunderstanding - a one-off instance where the service provider was not out of line, but nonetheless the woman snaps back. And now she looks “crazy” for overreacting. What the people witnessing the exchange don’t see is that 95% of the time, the woman must defend her interests or risk being screwed over.
In some instances, the Karen has been used as a vehicle to decry other social wrongs. The title was slapped on a woman who protested Pennsylvania’s stay-at-home order, shouting “What do I say to your science? I don’t believe in your science!” It’s been thrown at white women who make police complaints from minor or fictitious infringements by Black people, like the Central Park Karen who called 911 after a Black birder asked her to leash her dog. The Karen also functions as a lightning rod for resentment towards the upper middle class.
But the term Karen does not have origins in social justice. It first appeared in a sketch by comedian Dane Cook in 2005, who chose the name to label “the friend in every group that nobody likes.” The term was later used on Reddit by a man griping about his ex-wife. Since then, Karen has evolved into a pejorative, a way to shame older women who are assertive. Even Feminist icon Gloria Steinem has chimed in to express her concern that sexism – rather than social justice – has fueled the Karen phenomenon. Afterall, why don’t we make fun of Ken or Kyle? Sure, there are jokes about Chads and Kyles. But, they are not nearly as ubiquitous as the Karen. Instead, the subject of our rage manifests as a caricature of a middle-aged woman.
Some defenders of Karen say that it is a critique of entitled white womanhood. But these advocates overlook the connection between the term and age. White privilege and sex-ageism are both very real. And rejection of one does not preclude rejection of the other. It’s entirely possible to denounce racist/privileged behavior without perpetuating society’s hatred of older women.
As a woman in my early 30’s, my reaction to Karen jokes is mixed. Sometimes I can’t help but laugh. But at the same time, the memes, videos, and gifs are a somber reminder that I, too, am fated to become societal dead weight. I would like to think that my erasure is not inevitable. Maybe I can combat it with mechanisms like professional competency, strong family ties, personal achievements, and Botox. But, at the end of the day, I am doubtful that any of these things will change the way that strangers perceive me when I’m old. And before long, it may be my bad day that goes viral.
Comments