Does alcohol melt the ice and numb the discomfort? Or is it a cushion that we wedge between us, absorbing the pokes and the scratches?
I feel most amiable towards my coworkers when we’re at happy hour. But sometimes I reflect on our conversations and wonder about their genuineness. I remember laughing too hard at jokes, oversharing, feigning interest in a dry retelling. I don’t want to leave, but cut myself off after 2 drinks. I’m everyone’s best friend (well, except for the interns).
The next day, I want to hide in my office. I dread meetings. I struggle to make small talk in the coffee room. I can’t remember who said what the night before. I’m a different person sober.
This brings up the age-old question - does alcohol peel away our inhibitions, revealing our raw selves? Or does it turn us into different people altogether?
Social-anxiety aside, I wonder if I can have better connections without alcohol. Over drinks, the discussions take the expressway to superficiality, as we gush about everything and chime-in with anything that comes to mind.
I recall talking to a pro bono organizer who was in-town from DC. He was talking about how he arrived at his current job and expressed that he “just loves helping people.”
“Me, too!” I exclaimed.
The thing is that I’m actually a recovering misanthrope. And who doesn’t like helping people?
We never discussed common experiences of living in Atlanta or doing volunteer legal work.
Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve formed any lasting friendships that were born out of drunken first interactions. I don’t know if it’s the blurriness of the memories. Or the insipid conversations.
In fact, needing to drink to tolerate someone’s company has served as a good indicator that a friendship is not worth pursuing.
This is all complicated by my increasingly bad physical reaction to alcohol. At this point, if I have more than 2 drinks, I’m guaranteed to have a night of stomach pain.
I’ve even considered swearing off alcohol entirely. But it’s kind of a fixture in my profession. Breweries and bars are hubs of urban life. And sampling offers exposure to new and different flavors. Drinking has its time and place. Its acceptable volume. So, with alcohol, like anything, balance is everything.
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