Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz: Select Quotes

“Positive thinking” does indeed “work” when it is consistent with the individual’s self-image.

The self-image is changed, for better or worse, not by intellect alone, nor by intellectual knowledge alone, but by “experiencing.” Wittingly or unwittingly you developed your self-image by your creative experiencing in the past. You can change it by the same method.

Experimental and clinical psychologists have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an “actual” experience and an experience imagined vividly and in detail.

The self-image is a “premise,” a base, or a foundation upon which your entire personality, your behavior, and even your circumstances are built. Because of this our experiences seem to verify, and thereby strengthen our self images, and a vicious or a beneficent cycle, as the case may be, is set up.

A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment.

[F]orm a picture in your imagination of the self you wanted to be and “see yourself” in the new role.

[E]very person on the face of the earth is inferior to some other person or persons.

It was by conscious thought, though perhaps irrational and unrealistic, that the unconscious machine developed its negative and inappropriate reaction patterns, and it is by conscious rational thought that the automatic reaction patterns can be changed.

These negative experiences do not inhibit, but contribute to the learning process, as long as they are used properly as “negative feedback data,” and are seen as deviations from the positive goal which is desired.

However, as soon as the error has been recognized as such, and correction of course made, it is equally important that the error be consciously forgotten, and the successful attempt remembered and “dwelt upon.”

Gradually I learned to be indifferent to myself and my deficiencies; I came to center my attention upon external objects: the state of the world, various branches of knowledge, individuals for whom I felt affection.

Whenever you begin to feel remorse for an act which your reason tells you is not wicked, examine the causes of your feeling of remorse, and convince yourself in detail of their absurdity.

Do not be content with an alteration between moments of rationality and moments of irrationality. Look into the irrationality closely with a determination not to respect it and not to let it dominate you. When it thrusts foolish thoughts or feelings into your consciousness, pull them up by the roots, examine them, and reject them. enecccbhkcffbvbuiedhefltdbhtejdncfbukjkegvjk

Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned and practiced in the present it is never experienced.

Happiness is a mental habit which can be cultivated and developed.

The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions.

Form the habit of reacting aggressively and positively toward threats and problems. Form the habit of keeping goal-oriented all the time, regardless of what happens.

I will be as cheerful as possible. I will try to feel and act a little more friendly toward other people. I am going to be a little less critical and a little more tolerant of other people, their faults, failings and mistakes. I will place the best possible interpretation upon their actions. Insofar as possible, I am going to act as if success were inevitable, and I already am the sort of personality I want to be. I will practice “acting like” and “feeling like” this new personality. I will not let my own opinion color facts in a pessimistic or negative way. I will practice smiling at least three times during the day. Regardless of what happens, I will react as calmly and as intelligently as possible.

I will ignore completely and close my mind to all those pessimistic and negative “facts” which I can do nothing to change.

The “Success-type” personality is composed of: S–ense of direction U–nderstanding C–ourage C–harity E–steem S–elf-Confidence S–elf-Acceptance.

Develop a “nostalgia for the future” instead of for the past. The “forward look” and a “nostalgia for the future” can keep you youthful.

We do not like to admit to ourselves our errors, mistakes, shortcomings, or ever admit we have been in the wrong. We do not like to acknowledge that a situation is other than we would like it to be. So we kid ourselves. And because we will not see the truth, we cannot act appropriately.

(1) Try to develop a genuine appreciation for people by realizing the truth about them; they are children of God, unique personalities, creative beings.

(2) Take the trouble to stop and think of the other person’s feelings, his viewpoints, his desires and needs.

(3) Act as if other people are important and treat them accordingly.

Jealousy, for example, which is the scourge of many a marriage, is nearly always caused by self-doubt. The person with adequate self-esteem doesn’t feel hostile toward others, he isn’t out to prove anything, he can see facts more clearly, isn’t as demanding in his claims on other people.

Practice treating other people as if they had some value—and surprisingly enough your own self-esteem will go up.

It is literally true that success breeds success. Even a small success can be used as a stepping stone to a greater one.

Another important technique is to form the habit of remembering past successes, and forgetting failures.

In each case the crowd, the closed space, the open space, the boss, etc., act as “bells,” which say—”danger is present, run away, feel afraid. And out of habit, we continue to respond in the accustomed way. We “obey” the bell.

How to Extinguish Conditioned Responses: We can, however, extinguish the conditioned response if we make a practice of relaxing instead of responding. We can, if we wish, just as in the case of the telephone, learn to ignore the “bell,” and continue to sit quietly and “let it ring.” A key thought that we can carry with us to use whenever we are confronted by any disturbing stimulus is to say to ourselves, “The telephone is ringing, but I do not have to answer it. I can just let it ring.” This thought will “key in” to your mental picture of yourself sitting quietly, relaxed, unresponding, doing nothing, letting the telephone ring unheeded, and will act as a trigger or “clue” to call up the same attitude that you had when letting the telephone ring.

If You Cannot Ignore the Response—Delay It - ignore the “bell,” especially if it is rung unexpectedly. In such instances you can accomplish the same final result —extinction of the conditioning—by delaying your response.

It has been proved in scientific laboratory experiments that you absolutely cannot feel angry, fearful, anxious, insecure, “unsafe” as long as your muscles remain perfectly relaxed.

Not satisfied with over-responding to actual minor stimuli in the actual environment, many of us create straw men in our imaginations, and emotionally respond to our own mental pictures.

The automatic reaction mechanism is jammed by too much conscious effort—trying too hard. Something akin to “purpose tremor” develops and the ability to think clearly is lost.

Many failures in elementary schools, he said, were due to the fact that students were not given, at the very beginning, a sufficient amount of work at which they could succeed, and thus never had an opportunity to develop the “Atmosphere of Success,” or what we call “the winning feeling.” The student, he said, who had never experienced success early in his school life, had no chance to develop the “habit of success”—the habitual feeling of faith and confidence in undertaking new work. He urged that teachers arrange work in the early grades so as to ensure that the student experienced success. The work should be well within the ability of the student, yet interesting enough to arouse enthusiasm and motivation. These small successes, said Dr. Eliot, would give the student the “feel of success,” which would be a valuable ally in all future undertakings.

A “bad” feeling is not dispelled by conscious effort or “will power.” It can be dispelled, however, by another feeling. If we cannot drive out a negative feeling by making a frontal assault upon it, we can accomplish the same result by substituting a positive.

The only cure for worry, he says, is to make a habit out of immediately substituting pleasant, wholesome, mental, images, for unpleasant “worry images.”

Philosophers have long told us, and now medical researchers confirm, that resentment and hatred hurt us more than the person we direct them against.

More living means among other things more accomplishment, the attainment of worthwhile goals, more love experienced and given, more health and enjoyment, more happiness for both yourself and others.